Emotional Control

           EMOTIONS.

Mohammed Dauda Kamara, Student Mass Communication Department, FBC and a Writer. 

 By: Mohamed Dauda Kamara 

The last time I finally realized how to be emotionally intelligent was when I hit my younger sister with a stick on the forehead because I was furious with her disrespects. I became tumultuous as though I'd killed my own sister. Yes, I heard my mother screamed in tears. And realizing my mindless brutality, maybe my senseless violence, I ran off as if being chased by a leopard. I ran off, throwing away the stick I'd hit my sister with, as though it was already a terrible sin contaminating my hand. A certain amount of remorse got hold of me as I sprinted while I could hear Mama's shrill voice screaming in tears.

"What have you done?" My instinct asked me as if he wasn't silent when the dark side of my mind told me to react with anger, with terror, with vigor and with somewhat affront.

I purged with excessive regret. I slowed down. I reeked with fear, with pain and with emotional torments that was far greater than the decision I'd made minutes ago. "How can I be so heartless and devilish?" I asked myself over and over again. 

I, a venerable lad, had gone to the point of protecting my venerability until I'd left a bleeding wound on the forehead of my sister. Uncontrollable emotions. I was emotionally unintelligent. If I'd been emotionally intelligent like mama had always demanded, I wouldn't have hurt my sister. If I'd been tolerant, I could not have done something wrong and ended up in remorse.

However, this is how it feels, when we can't control our emotions well. This is what it means to be emotionally unintelligent, always making wrong decisions or importing wrong ideas. Emotions. Truth be told, emotional intelligence has its own benefits: no matter how ego-driven or carefree we choose to act about it. Let's say to be emotionally intelligent is to be fair-minded. No matter how intricate our emotions are, there's always a way to split through them without denting somebody else's emotion. We have to be sometimes dragged into lull if the clumsy fingers of our emotions swell up because in that way, we can easily have our minds put to rest in a calm and refreshing mood.

There is always a nexus between 'how we react, when we react, where we react and why we react.' That nexus gives us the ability to mind our actions. It gives us the skill to allow our minds to flow freely without being subjugated by own emotions.

If we must be emotionally intelligent, then we must be definitely ready to be reasonable in our emotions. Throughout our lives, we are bound to have an inevitable conflict with our emotions, but it's how well we can manage or control those emotions that is significant. You can't be emotionally intelligent if you don't take responsibility of your actions. Our emotions, in most cases, influence our actions. 

Some people are emotionally unintelligent because they lack the skill to analyze their emotions or maybe they lack the ability to reason with their emotions. Hence, they end up being smirked by their emotions. When you're angry, tame your emotions because taming them will help to put you in your best.

Dear Reader, also have in mind, that controlling our emotions is a bit hard. But it can be controlled. In your love relationships, there are times when your relationship may swell because of the attachment. And most times, when your partner happens to do anything negative, it will affect your emotion. Surely, you'll feel hurt, angry, or jealous. These are just natural. You will definitely not want to lose your partner because you lack the intelligence to control your emotions. You will definitely not want to infuse a negative feeling into their emotions. Hence, there is always a conflict within you. Calm down if that happens. Take a deep breath, sit down if you're standing and relax your mind. Take it off the incident. Let it flow naturally without having a discussion in your mind. Petty discussions in your mind after a fight or an awkward incident, will increase your emotions negatively, and it will fervently hype your emotions to loosen its grip.

In your work place, there are times when the weather will be dark, and you won't be alright with certain things around you. It's obviously human to feel that day. You just have to control that emotion in you. 

Reader, Self-regulation is one step to being emotionally intelligent. If you're able to self-regulate yourself from being too angry or jealous or from being too impulsive, you can control your emotions. This pushes you into thinking before acting, mostly searching for the end result of any action.

Gentle readers, being self-aware can increase your level of emotional intelligence. And the good thing about self-awareness is that it gives you the ability to know your emotions. Knowing your emotions or understanding your emotions can help take responsibility of your emotions. This is done by purely relying on your intuition.

With empathy, you can easily identify and understand your wants and needs. This, in turn, will help you identify and understand the feelings of others. The fact that you can understand or relate to how others feel, you can also measure or tame your emotions towards them. 

Gentle readers, hold it firmly that if you can motivate yourself, then you can absolutely control your emotions. Sometimes give excuses for others why they did what they did. Try not to take many things personally and be more understanding. And this will carve you a better significance of what your emotions are.

Let it be understood that being emotionally intelligent requires your intelligence to persuade your mind in a significant outcome. There are two powerful voices in every human: the loyal and servile voice and the disloyal and devilish voice. These voices build the mind. They control the mind. And because they control your mind, and that the mind is you, they reflect on your emotions. Then, your emotions refect in your actions. Always stick with your loyal and servile voice in you. . Emotions count.